i just want to point out that last year, i received an e-card from a friend that pointed out that we celebrate "love" on the day that st. valentines (multiple) were killed.
and fyi, there are different myths about the origins of the celebration.
but i guess february has been known for a long time as the month of love?
anyway, happy valentine's day.
valentine's day
A Birthday To Remember?
as much as i'd like to say that i don't really care about celebrating my birthday, i really do.
so that being said, this birthday was not ideal, and kind of sucky, but not entirely without its highlights.
i spent the day in a meeting that i didn't get to finish
then went to a funeral that took much longer than i thought it would (not the actual ceremony...).
and i had already cancelled my birthday dinner, because of my recent tummy troubles.
so, it was not quite a birthday celebration that exudes joy.
on the upside, while we were waiting for the funeral, i got to sit and chat about orphans, which is a topic i love.
i got some mars bars as a gift.
someone gave me a lot of pink things, including a mini, pink soccer ball.
i had someone sing me happy birthday in dutch.
i ate "tacos" for dinner.
and my roommate baked a delicious dessert that i can actually eat!
i'm waiting for next week when i get to celebrate out with my team.
Loving the One you Hated...
imagine (or maybe you don't have to) growing up with no mother and an emotionally closed and hardened father.
imagine knowing that your father was an alcoholic and drug addict.
imagine remembering all the times he that caused you pain: emotional, physical, spiritual.
imagine growing up embarrassed at your father, and who he was.
imagine hating your father
imagine knowing that you never wanted to be your father and have his life.
imagine growing up, realizing you're on the same road as him, and you hate him all the more for it.
and then, imagine that this one person who has been in your life from the beginning, has died.
this morning, i got a call from one of the kids we have taken in as a team, Sergey.
he found out this morning that his father died.
he was 55.
yesterday, he saw him for the last time.
for months, and years, even, i have watched sergey struggle with his feelings of hatred for his father, and with his desire of a connection.
for months, i've watched him start walking the same road his father started a long time ago, convinced that it was in his blood to be a failure, an alcoholic, a drug addict, a nobody.
today, this morning marks the first day i have heard him speak wistfully about his father, the first time his tough orphanage upbringing has betrayed him, to hear in his voice the little boy missing his father.
"my neighbors say my dad really loved me, that even when i was little, and i tried to run away to kyiv by myself (at about 4 years of age), he ran after me. where ever i'd disappeared to, he'd go looking to find me."
i remember meeting sergey's father in june, after he graduated. we went to visit him at his home, the place sergey remembers.
drunk as he was, the father was extmemely proud of his son.
i remember sergey tried, and very awkwardly gave his father a hug.
i don't think his father knew what to do with that.
i remember i shook his father's hand, and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
and i remember his father looking back at me, also with very proud eyes, before kissing my hand and muttering something i could not understand.
tomorrow we return to their home,
to make arrangements for the man that sergey hated his whole life, but loved as well.
In Ukraine...
usually the hot water gets shut off at random times for random lengths.
today, our cold water was shut off.
you might think, that's much better than turning the hot water off.
but let's take into account a few things:
1. cold water can always be heated up on the stove, in a hot water kettle, in the microwave.
2. hot water, when it's scalding hot, takes a very long time to cool down.
tonight's scenario:
my roommate returned after rock climbing (or wall-climbing) wanting to take a bath and soak her muscles before going to bed.
no cold water.
so she ran hot water.
waited, checked, waited, checked.
waited.
and decided to take matters into her own hand:
she got my desk fan and held it above the water for awhile in an attempt to cool it down.
next we took out buckets, pots, whatever, of hot water and put them on the balconey where the temperature is about...-12C/12F.
i'm now supposed to be sleeping.
but i thought you should all know, the water is still not cooled down enough, and it's been at least an hour.
Does crazy run in my blood or in my family?
i think i'm starting to go it.
besides being a natural introvert at home.
and then not being able to go anywhere all week.
and hiding from the people (or most of them) that did come over.
i think i'm starting to go crazy from the lack of social interaction.
is that possible?
Return to Normal Food
so last night, i tried some plain, boiled chicken.
it was amazing!
i guess i never realized how much the taste of meat would be appreciated by some carnivorous creature forced to become not even just a herbivore (which would have been acceptable), but a carbohydrate-vore.
everything seemed to digest very well.
this morning, i tried borscht, which my roommate made late last night.
then i didn't feel so great.
too many "new" food items.
but this evening, again, i'm back to eating boiled chicken and boiled potatoes, and dried bread (or toast).
and life is again, good.
i'm currently sitting with a cup of tea, trying to figure out WHAT to do.
but my tea has sugar in it!!!!
find happiness in the little things.
praise the Lord.
Epsom Salt
while it has many uses, the one i use it for is to cleanse the body.
after so many days eating only carbohydrates and water and such, i feel the necessity of helping my body release toxins.
not such a pleasant topic.
and i'm sitting here at the computer, thinking of how much i DON'T want to taste that gross bitterness of the salty water.
and trying not to do it.
trying to find any excuse to not have to drink that concoction.
but alas, i must go.
Carbohydrates and Live Cultures
so, for the past 5 days, i've been on a stricter diet than normal.
let's just ignore the fact that a few weeks ago i went on a cleanse diet, and now i'm on a...pretty much, all carbohydrate and starch diet.
the live cultures to which i referred is in a wonderfully tasty drink called kefir, which people say you will acquire a taste for it. of course, i haven't yet.
the reason of course being my digestive dysfunction.
the change in diet isn't the only impact this digestive dysfunction has had on me.
i also have back pain.
and i get tired very quickly...my roommate and i were discussing how pathetic it is that i washed dishes and swept, and was tired again.
i have irregular sleep patterns, which are quickly becoming quite regular...reminds me of a baby that needs feeding...but i'm usually needing a hot bath to relieve the pain in my back.
(pain killers are out of the question as they contribute to difficult digestion).
and i haven't left the apartment in 4 days, feeling like a complete hermit, although not disliking it.
i wouldn't mind having some cheese and sausage to put on the bread i eat, though (which is also out of the question at this moment in time).
and as my birthday is in one week, i had hoped to feast...i guess there is bread and potatoes for everyone!
but i'm alive, and in relatively good spirits.
today was the best day out of the five.
in part because i saw the doctor, he told me what he thought was the problem and told me what medicine i should get.
second part, because i had less pain and more energy than the previous 4 days.
second and a half, because the doctor told me no more kefir.
and third, because this medicine doesn't seem to aggravate the condition.
i'm about to go to sleep. i hope i actually get there.
good day and good night to you all.
