I was reminded again about how often we look at outward appearances and label a person from what we can see.
recently i was on the train. near me, sat this very tan woman, who just exuded confidence and strength. it wasn't in anything she said, but it was just her presence.
after some time, she spoke, and rather timidly, which surprised me.
and then, later in the evening, after i went to try to sleep, she spoke with my friend--telling her the tragedies in her life, of her parents dying, her daughter dying, and then more recently of her husband dying. my friend said she began to cry, and her recounting of this story just reminded me again and again of how we try to keep up appearances when, really, we're all broken inside, and how most people just don't know.
Appearances
People Watching...
i think you'd find it hard to believe that i enjoy people watching through movies and television series. of course, you might think: that's not real people watching. everything is scripted and the people are portraying characters, not actually who they are.
but i still enjoy it.
that being said....
i decided to stop watching movies/television shows for a bit--unless i'm in a group of people.
purpose being because it doesn't relax me.
many people watch television as a mindless activity, to check out and relax after a long day of work or whatever they've been doing.
i find it quite mindful. i'm always wondering as to the psychological history and background of the characters that make them what they portray at that particular moment.
it's actually exhausting.
so i am exploring other options for relaxation methods, such as reading books and spending more time with friends. of course the latter suggestion is funny, because as much of a people person i am, i am also very introverted and need time away from people to re-energize.
so today i really wanted to watch something while i ate dinner...which is quite a normal thing for me to do. but i instead opted for the option of writing a blog. :)
Wouldn't you know?
I had just written about grace well, mentioned it.
and then i decided i should go through a devotional.
so i found one online.
and today's hit the topic of grace and "fairness" from matthew 20.
i don't know if we can ever truly describe God as "fair". he's just, righteous, honest, true...but what does fair really mean?
does it mean having some sort of standards/guidelines, and consequences? and then "fair" falls within those parameters?
so back to grace.
the workers from the first group of men rounded to up work agreed to terms, and then hoped for the terms to be changed, as they waited for their pay. they saw "generosity" from the land-owner, as he gave those who worked only one hour a full day's pay. so of course those who'd been there all day expected more. that would of course, be fair. never mind the agreement they made earlier. :P work more=get paid more. ???
but grace is something undeserved.
i think it comes after you're ready to receive the consequences of your actions, to be fair. and that requires humility.
grace works with humility. and that is something pride will never understand.
you can't demand grace. if you demand it, you're in a position to believe that you deserve it. and grace is undeserved.
the land-owner gave the men who worked the full day what they deserved. what was fair.
he gave those who worked just an hour what they didn't deserve, what they didn't expect. but like it says in matthew 20:15--"am i not allowed to do what i choose with what belongs to me?"
if he had given those first men more, no grace would have been shown. it would be just fairness all around. but grace, grace...
If you want to read the devotional click on the website here and go to may 21 if it's already a different day. http://www.upperroom.org/devotional/
i'll be mulling over the last thought given in the devotional:
"if people judged God by my actions, what would they know of grace?"
